I agree about children and playtime, and how indeed allowing children more playtime in school, as Finland does, allows their creativity to flourish and become part of their skill set in learning.

Play is the critical tool in mastery of any subject. The work is to find your joy.

Putting the time can make you proficient, but to be joyful about your subject is to have confidence. I suspect we have many learned lawyers and skilled bricklayers who are proficient…but not confident, as they put in the time to learn but did not follow their hearts.

This is the start of confidence; knowing your heart and following its call. Confidence is that inner knowing that springs from your heart, and does not need to be learned.

Confidence, is not a result; it is a joyful starting place, a feeling that you are certain, no matter what, that what you want, you will achieve.

Thus, forcing children to practice is counterproductive; each person knows what subjects feel right for them, and no amount of practice or hard work will change that natural feeling of joyful confidence. Proficiency, perhaps…confidence, no.

Confidence is sureness. Children understand this when they play; they create imaginary worlds and are confident in their creations.

We learn this when we play as well; that the imagined, the feeling-good aspect, is what helps make real that which we want.

Confidence is the joyful feeling that what you want is already on its way. This is not self esteem; confidence is a sureness that comes from an inner knowing, not from anything that has to be proven.

To me, confidence is an easy feeling, a joyfulness about yourself and your abilities. The idea that this joyful feeling springs from hard work and practice just doesn’t follow.

Without this confident joyfulness, hard work and time spent can be futile.

As for kids’ confidence, I think we’re tangled in semantics. It sounds like you’re addressing self-esteem: ‘the ability to believe in yourself despite setbacks and failures.’ I wouldn’t begin to argue with the merits of nurturing your child’s self-esteem. A lot of love, patience and interest from parents makes all the difference in that regard. Confidence, on the other hand, is derived from spending quality time on something or other. I guess you could call that practice. (In the above example Finland’s children are more practiced at free-exploring solutions.) The gymnast who wows her audience spent untold hours strengthening her abilities. Is she confident? I would expect so.

The point of my article is that confidence isn’t a catalyst, it’s a result. The attempt to instill confidence with the old pep talk just doesn’t cut it. It’s no substitute for quality time spent on an activity.

As for the working man—you give me a cobbler, a blacksmith and a ship-builder, and I’ll show you three people more confident in their trade than the layman would be in those same endeavors. Is their talent a result of their confidence? No. It’s a result of the hours, years spent advancing their skills. Whether they’re paid well is another matter entirely.

Cheers
-AV

-AV

Dan from Pittsburgh